My dad died one week ago, through it I have had to find the strength to stay calm and hold myself together for the sake of my family. My wife, my four kids, my mother, my uncles, I am holding strong for them and while it is a tremendous weight to bear, I gladly will shoulder it. I have not grieved and I feel horrible, I am depressed, saddened to the very core of my being, but not yet…
My father’s ashes will soon be in my mom’s possession and with it, a funeral will be planned. I will be talking during it, reading a eulogy and a poem shared beside this post. I will hold back the deluge of my heart a bit longer, then I will release an ocean of tears after.
I cannot begin to tell you how difficult this has been and will be a while still, but I can tell you that the hell of today, tomorrow, and for time to come, cannot last forever. My dad wouldn’t want this, I knew him, he was a happy, jovial, kind, and loving soul. This too shall pass, yet his memory will continue on forever.
Once I have been freed to grieve, to release this pain and sorrow, I will dedicate myself, my life, and my works to his memory, to the kind of man he was. Yes, I am my own individual, but he raised me, as I am me, I am also part of him. The person I am today is greatly influenced and due to the person my father was, and I will seek to honor that every day I breathe.
There’s a Jewish poem often recited during Shiva that has helped me immensely during this time called, “We remember them.” The poem reads;