Narrowing life with age and finding what’s important

Narrowing down what is important in life becomes something of a necessity the older one gets, and me being 45 years old as I write this, I sit firmly in middle age. Life has been somewhat of an insane, pull me in fifty directions and do whatever the hell I want at the time type thing, for as long as I can remember, so this wasn’t exactly easy. Complicating these decisions further were my growing visual impairments, my hearing impairments, and of course, my slow decline in being able to walk due to my spinal disease and conditions. 

Let me tell you this, nothing is more important though, because as you reach a more advanced age, it grows more and more difficult to find the time to do all of the things you might want to do in life. In the past, I released 5 albums of music, sold 200 plus pieces of art internationally, attained my 5th Dan masters rank in Karate-do, was published 6 times now, and 5 times in magazines, I ran a religious organization of 10k members, became a mental health facilitator, became an extremism consultant/expert, became a speaker and lecturer, and much more… 

My life has been full of doing… not talking… doing, not wanting to… doing, not dreaming… doing and getting shit done!

As I age (and I do love aging mind you), I find myself focusing more, looking towards more of a structured lineup of things I truly desire to do and accomplish before I’m too old to. So, to do this I looked at what’s most important to me…

  • Family/Friends
  • Judaism and the tribe
  • Animals
  • Writing
  • Lecturing from my lifetime of studies on Philosophy and mental health
  • Combating extremism and hate/bigotry
  • Being a benefit to all living things

Second, I needed to break things down into two separate things, life, and hobbies, because all work and no play makes Fred a dull boy. Life is the important stuff, work, family, religion, and that sort of stuff; while hobbies are things I do to keep me sane and focused on life and the important work I put into those endeavors. 


  • Spending time both online and offline with family and friends
  • Combating hatred, extremism, and bigotry
  • Lecturing on philosophy and mental health
  • Practicing/Living Judaism
  • Caring for my reptile and fur babies
  • Writing professionally
  • Working out
  • Studies and collegiate work


  • Gaming – Video games, tabletop games, and board games
  • Music – Writing and recording music
  • Writing non professionally
  • Art – in all of its varied forms
  • Collecting… things
  • Juggalo everything
  • Watching horror films

There is only so much time in a day, and so much time left in my life, so I have to partition life into segments that I can do. Life is regular, in that I commit to being actively engaged in it daily and live in the moment, but hobbies I commit to as I feel so inclined and inspired to engage in them. Sometimes I am fully obsessive about about one hobby, such as music or art, and whenever I have spare time, you’ll find me doing those things, other times, it’s pure randomness and chaos in what I do with my free time. With life, there is much more structure, I have places to go, things I have to do, people I have to meet, meetings, events, parent-teacher conferences, doctor appointments, and all in all things that are the very antithesis of chaos.

Life also must always take precedence over hobbies, as only the first enables the second to manifest… that is unless one of my hobbies becomes a major part of my life again (as it has before). Things have just needed to find a balance for a bit now, yin and yang so to speak, but put into easier context, life, and hobbies, and now that I’ve been able to focus more on those aspects, it’s become easier to do so. 

Honestly, what’s most important to me as I ease into mid-life, is finding joy in life, spending time with loved ones, and doing as much good in the world as I can. I believe that when I try to summarize what my absolute most important aspect in life is, I can say doing good, experiencing life, and loving wholly and that’s about it. I used to look for some mythical home, which was more of a feeling than an actual place, but I found out that home is a state of being where I know and have and can do and be exactly what I need to do and be for who I need to do and be it for… home is love, home is that feeling that I just helped someone, home is gratitude… it’s so much more than a place. 

I think I’m home… no matter where I am in this crazy world, it’s starting to feel like home to me.